It’s easy to forget the rules of writing, even for a professional. 

We get excited about a new idea.  We hastily start writing a TV script or a play or a screenplay.  Often we don’t finish the work that we start.  We get about thirty or forty pages in, and suddenly the whole thing starts to bog down.  We get frustrated and stop.  Perhaps we abandon the project completely.  Occasionally, we do finish.  We think we’ve written something wonderful.  Then we give it to someone else to read.  They come back with criticism.  Maybe they didn’t exactly love what we’ve written.  Even the gentlest criticism hurts.  We get discouraged and perhaps even annoyed.  We lose confidence in what we wrote.  We lose confidence in our ability.  The whole process of writing suddenly seems to be more trouble than it's worth.

Welcome to the writer’s life.

I received two scripts this week.  One was written by an aspiring young writer that I already knew, and who is trying to learn how to write half-hour comedy.  (I only read scripts from people I know.)

The other was a full length play written by a professional colleague and longtime friend.

Both scripts were filled with problems.  Both of these people have sent me work to read before, so both of them knew that I am not gentle with criticism.  I never say, “I hate what you’ve written,” but I candidly point out the flaws that I see in the work.

The aspiring writer’s script was riddled with amateur mistakes.  The story was poorly constructed and the characters didn’t sound like real people.  Even though this person has read my book, they forgot most of the sitcom writing rules that are in my book.  I’d expect that from someone who is still learning.

My professional colleague has written a number of produced screenplays over the years.  This person has also written several plays and had a couple of them produced.  One play was even produced in New York a number of years ago.  This writer’s latest play had two significant problems: it lacks a strong protagonist and it lacks a discernable theme.  Those are two pretty gigantic elements to leave out of a play.

Did I lose respect for either of these writers because the work they sent me to critique wasn’t perfect?  Of course not.  I’ve been at this long enough to know that the writing process is always difficult and that all writers, even seasoned professionals, make enormous mistakes.  All writers, including myself, forget some of the basic rules of writing – or, more likely, ignore the rules - in their excitement over a new idea.

What do you do when you forget some of the basic rules of writing while you work?  You find a way to get reminded of those rules by giving your work to someone else to read.  Once the flaws in your work have been discovered, you start again.

It’s easy to offer criticism.  It is much more difficult to receive it.  Criticism is always painful.  We all would like to write a perfect script the first time, every time.  No one does.

What drives us as writers is our excitement to put our thoughts into words.  We never want to lose that excitement.  Criticism can be discouraging.  It can dampen our excitement.  But without criticism the inevitable problems in our work can’t be discovered and corrected.

We make the same mistakes in our work that we make in our relationships with other people.  We get excited about someone new.  We think we’ve found the perfect match.  We forget all the rules and plunge headlong into an invigorating new romance.  Then the inevitable problems crop up.  Sometimes the relationship ends as quickly as it started.  Sometimes we stick it out, dealing with problems all the time, wondering if it’s worth it to keep going.  We hate losing the initial excitement that we felt, and the endless compromise that follows seems to take the joy out of what we thought we had discovered.  Writing.  Loving.  It’s all a lot of work.

I hate receiving criticism.  It’s embarrassing.  I feel exposed and vulnerable.  I often feel stupid and incompetent.  I want everyone to love everything that I write, and I’m crushed when they don’t.

The discomfort of strong negative emotions can keep us from pursuing love and from pursuing our dreams.   We can weather those uncomfortable emotions by remembering that everyone makes mistakes.   I think that weathering criticism is one of the hardest parts of life, whether in work, love, or even friendship.  No one likes criticism about their behavior, their words, or their work.  We all want to be loved all the time. 

We can weather criticism if we can remember that everyone forgets the rules.  If you are truly committed to your goal, you will accept the criticism, accept that your forgot the rules, and then go back and try again.